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 Post subject: Reapers Rewrite?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:33 pm 
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Location: Candy Mountain
The leaves began to change their colors once again. The trees were in bloom of bright red, orange and yellow. The leaves cluttered the sidewalks and crunched under Violet's feet. She had her scarf wrapped around her, the one her father made her a couple years back. In one hand, she held a dozen of marigolds for his grave. It had been a year since her father had died. Now, she had to live with the fact that he wouldn't be at her graduation. Today was an emotional day in her house, her mother just layed in bed this morning. Now, Violet was on her way to Light Hollows Cemetary. Marigolds was his favorite flower, he was a gardener. She had been taking care of his flowers, something she felt was her duty. She now came to the gate and passed though it. Walking slowly, glancing for his tombstone. Thomas Petals, she laughed at herself. How funny was it for a gardener to have a last name like that?
She layed the flowers gently on the ground. Kneeling, she began to cry. She hadn't been to his grave once. She held her face in her hands and began to cry harder. Why hadn't she been here? It was at least he deserved.
"I miss you, Dad. Things have been really hard. Why did you leave us? Weren't you happy?"
"He was."
Violet shifted her head left and right. She saw no one. "Who said that?"
"I did. Look up."
Violet threw her eyes to the sky. She saw someone sitting on the top of her father's tombstone. Someone wearing a black hood and somehow had no feet. You couldn't see his face, almost as if he was made out of ash.
"W-Who are you?"
"I'm your father's Reaper."
"Reaper? Like the Grim Reaper?"
He chuckled. "Exactly. Except there is more then one of him. For every person on this godless earth, there's a Reaper. I just happen to be your father's."
"Is he happy now that he's dead?"
"Violet..Violet...he's more sadden now then he ever was..."
"How do you know my name?" Fear began to fill Violet's soul.
"I'm your father's Reaper. So, I know everyone your father loves. Which, includes you my dear. In case you were wondering, mine's Midnight."
"Midnight? That's a cool name." She stood up and dusted off her pants. So, was he her friend? Midnight shifted off the stone onto the ground.
"You get to pick your name when you become a Reaper. Anyways, your father made me promise to keep an eye on you. To check in then and now. The whole point of a Reaper is to grant a wish of a dead person. So, when I became his Reaper he wished that I become sort of a guardian. No one can see me but you."
"Huh. So I'm stuck with you?"
"Basically. So, It's nice to meet you Violet."

Please comment and tell me what you think!

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Last edited by Ashen on Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:16 pm, edited 13 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:24 am 
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Location: Midgar
Great work, Ashen!

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:10 pm 
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Location: Somewhere.... Um.... What was it again?
Again, I am in complete Awe of your work.. Keep it up! =)

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:15 pm 
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the story plot is a bit creepy...but it could work! from one author to another, keep it up!

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:58 pm 
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Location: i have lost myself if you find me tell me to remain right there and both of us will know where i am!
wow! just wow!

your story develops so much through its diolog. and the story so far has such a differnt feel to it that i cant wait for more... so please more...


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 Post subject: Re: Reapers
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:34 pm 
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Location: Candy Mountain
Chapter 2
Violet just stared at Midnight after that. A hooded shadow was talking to her, telling her he was her father's Reaper. So, was there some way to talk to him? To figure out the reason why he took his life. She never could figure that out, she always thought he was so happy tending to his garden and the flower shop.
"No, Violet I can't tell you that." He spoke outloud. He shifted his head in her direction. "Yes, I can read your mind. There's many things a Reaper can do, Violet."
"Why can't you tell me? Don't you talk to him every day?"
He chuckled. "Of course I do. But, your father hasn't told me why he took his life. He's busy, becoming a sucicide Reaper. I'm black, so I'm a normal Reaper. A gray Reaper is a sucicide Reaper. You can tell by our hoods. Right now, he's getting part of his punishment from our master. Being what we are is part of it but there's so much more."
"Is he in hell, Midnight?"
"Yes. So am I. Once I'm finished with your father's request I must spend my eternity there. So, you must not get attached to me." He laughed again.
"So, why are you so happy?"
"Why shouldn't I be? I get some time to have fun. Fun with my new friend."
Violet just shook her head and began to walk home. Midnight followed her, like a puppy dog.

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 Post subject: Reapers Ch 3
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 12:39 am 
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Location: Candy Mountain
Violet went on to her house. It was now getting dark, she was at the graveyard longer then she had expected. Then again, she hadn't planned on meeting Midnight. The old oak tree in their front yard was losing its leaves and they littered the yard. She came though the front door swinging the screen door behind her.
"Mom, I'm home!" She yelled. The house was pretty small, Violet's voice carried back and echoed. Her mother was probably still laying in bed, crying her eyes out. She began to imagine tissues all over the floor, the quilts over her head. It was completely dark, not even a candle was lit.
"Almost as vacant as the cementary." Midnight muttered. Violet looked back at him and he didn't say anything else. Then her mom began to crawl out from her room. Her hair was in a ruffled mess, dark circles under her eyes, dressed in her purple robe with her bunny slippers. She had her arms across her chest, sniffling.
"Mom, I'm sorry i was out late." She began to come towards her, but then she began to scream. "Mom! Mom what's wrong?"
"Who's that behind you?" She pointed at Midnight.
"You can see him? Midnight, I thought no one could see you!" He gave her a blank stare, unable to say anything. Apparently he was surprised as she was.
"This isn't the first time I've seen him. He's been in my dreams since your father's death!"
"What? Why didn't tell me?" She sighed. "Well, it's no big deal. Midnight's harmless. I'm usually a good judge of character. If he scares you, I can ask him to stay outside."
"Excuse me, but I'm not a dog!" Midnight exclaimed.
"You'll go outside if I tell you to go outside, Midnight! I'm the only reason you're not in hell!"
He sighed. "You've got a good point."
"So, why is he here? Is he a new pet?" Her mom asked.
"No, he just loves me to follow like that. He's here to make me happy. Something that Dad wished for. But the one thing that would make me happy, he won't tell."
"Know why your father killed himself would make you happy?" Midnight asked, perched on the kitchen countertop.
"Of course it would. Do you you ever not sit on top of something?"
He smiled at her. "No. Now I know what I have to do to complete my task."
Violet sighed. "Go back to bed, Mom. Or would you like me to sleep with you tonight?"
"I'd really like it if you would. Please, Violet." She begged.
"Alright. Midnight, you go outside! Maybe for once my Mom won't have a nightmare!"
Midnight dropped his head in sorrow, but went outside. Violet plopped herself into her mother's bed and wrap her arms around her. For the hundredth time, her mother cried herself to sleep that night.

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 3
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:16 am 
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Location: i have lost myself if you find me tell me to remain right there and both of us will know where i am!
wow... i like the small twist of the mother being able to see midnight... great story so far keep up the good work


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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 3
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:44 am 
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Location: Somewhere.... Um.... What was it again?
Still in awe... That twist made it even more interesting. I thought that no one but Violet could see Midnight... hmm..

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 3
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:57 am 
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Midnight had nothing to do for several hours. Unlike mortals, he couldn't sleep and he knew he couldn't stay at the graveyard all night. He transported to the Reaper headquarters. The head Reaper, Darkling had rented a huge warehouse for them to meet. Darkling saw Midnight at the door and bothered him.
"Midnight, what are you doing here? I thought you had an assignment. You're not suppose to report back at base till after you're finished."
"I know, Darkling...I've come to visit a sucicide Reaper. It's part of my assignment, I swear!" He cowered in his shadow. He even felt like his hood couldn't hide him.
"A sucicide Reaper? What's the name?" He questioned Midnight.
"Petals, Thomas Petals."
Darkling laughed. "Oh, I know Petals. He's been a pain in the rear for a couple of days now. After his last lashes, he'll be a Reaper."
"Lashes? For what, sir?" Darkling scared the crap out of Midnight, so he always tried to call him "sir".
"For smarting off to me. I told him to do something and he decided to argue. I swear he could go against a fencepost and win." Darkling grinned.
"So, sir is he being lashed at the moment?"
"He should be done in a minute, Midnight. What's this gotta to do with your assignment?"
"Sir, my assignment has to deal with his daughter. In order to finish my assignment, I need to talk to him."
"I see. I'll go check on him. Be back in a moment, Midnight."

Midnight stood in the corner and sighed a sigh of relief. With Darkling around, he was so tense. But with Violet, he was able to be his laidback, care-free self. Just as soon as he got relaxed, Darkling showed up again.
"He's sore, but able to talk."
"Alright."
Midnight crawled down to the basement. Somehow, there was one underneath. Creeping down the stairs, he saw one gray hood slouched against the wall, breathing heavily. He slowly came towards Thomas Petals, he had no doubt it was him.
"Thomas Petals?" He asked quietly, barely above a whisper.
"You the Reaper thats look for me? Midnight's what they call you, right?" He answered back, his face to the ground.
"Yeah. That's my name. I came to ask you some questions. It's got to do with my assignment. Your daughter Violet is involved."
"So, you're the Reaper that got my wish? You better be taking good care of my little girl."
"I am, but I need your help. Your wish was to make her happy, but only one thing will."
"And what is that?"
"To know the reason of your sucicide."

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 4
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:49 pm 
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T_T i want moar...moar nao...

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 4
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:42 pm 
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Violet woke up and gently got out of the bed. She tried not to wake her mother. Walking in the kitchen, she saw Midnight perched on the countertop. He seemed as if he was waiting for her, this made her feel tense. She began to make her a bowl of Reeses Puffs. The air in the room was so tense, Violet just banged her spoon on the counter to break the spell.
"What is it, Midnight? What's wrong?" She stared at him.
"I...I talked to your father last night. He's finally a Reaper. He changed last night."
"That's great. But, why are you so uptight? Like you can't move or something. Spill, Midnight."
He sighed. "You told me that to know the reason he killed himself would make you happy. Well, he refuses to tell me."
"What?" She banged the spoon again, this time in anger. She deserved to know this. Why wouldn't he just tell Midnight? Of course her father was too stubborn.
"Violet, he's probably ashamed. Killing yourself is not the greatest way to leave the world. You usually do it for a selfish reason. But he did tell me something."
"What?"
"That he loves you."
Violet stomped out of the house and slammed the screen door behind her. Bull crap, she thought. He doesn't love me. She leaned against her tree, in minutes Midnight was beside her. The fact that he followed her around was starting to get on her nerves.
"If he loved me, he would tell me why he killed himself. If he loves me, why did he leave me Midnight? I will never see him again and it's all his fault. Yet, why he left he won't tell me."
He hugged her tight. "I'm sure he has a good reason for not telling you."
"i hope so."

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 5
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:47 pm 
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More and more I get more attached to this story. I hope to read more sometime. I believe you can add more to it. I believe in you.

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 5
PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:43 pm 
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This story = AWESOME

can't wait for the next entry

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 Post subject: Re: Reapers Ch 5
PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:59 pm 
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hmm...i beleive i have figured out why he won't tell her....but i'll sit on my theory for now...

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