Here is the prolouge of my story just to give you a taste test. well... here you go haha

Raven Tears

Prologue

Long ago the Earth was riden with animals able to speak what they call Stone Language. More and more time has past and they evolved into advanced humen like features. One raven of the gryphon's evolved first. One named,Revian,made contact with the Rethial's (ghost like sprits that live along with nature) and destroyed nearly all species. Four races left, the Felines, Reptiles,Trolls,and gryphon's;There was seven Rethial's one of Earth,Fire,Water,Wind,Dark,Light,and Life. The Life Rethial sacraficed herself to make a brand new race, then the Dark Rethial killed Revian yet no one knows why.

Many moon's have past and the time for true peace is close at hand,Little did all the Earthlings know,Revian is back. Now and days Stone Language is mentioned as English and many places now thrives, and technology is advanced, The Dark Rethial just revived Revian under our noses. Both the Dark Rethial and Revian conducted an evil scheme, and on a stormy night at the Ancient Castle, They meet for a proposition in return for his second chance at life.


Comments?

ilike it....so are the reithels people or animals?
and can i be character?

AWESOME!!!

no not realy its all planed out but the future names of the 3 books im making is scedish (Undecisive) (not valid) (Not sure yet)So just think of a good fiction name not used in other books ill use it in memory of you but only a few can do so... and it will have to go along with the characters following it so ill give a list of characters later when i have the chance. a little high on my vocabulry and when i cant spell half the time! and the Rethials are ghost/spirits living with the elements but here is ch 1 in full!

Ch. 1 A boys Nightmare!

In Blanevill a boy named Ateren is in a vast dream, little did he know it was happening. Dark Rethial says "I want... no need! a favor from you Revian" Revian turns in his chair with black feathers as skin two talons as feet under the charry wood desk,his eyes nothing but a red glow,a vast beak on his face,hands like a humen a feather like mane overlaping his head to back. Surrounding him is a room damp from the constent thunder storm out the window, slime near the corners a old lamp nearby a picture on the desk showing his younger self with a blue bird and a yellow canary smiling. Revian then breaks the slow silent moment "Your the Dark Rethial... what do you need me for?"
"Yes well... you are given powers far beyond your imagination" He stops to let Revian ponder ... food for thought? he wonderd.
breaking the silence "Now I dislike the light Rethial and the others" he started
Revian looses his patiance "Again.. why do you need me?"
"Destroy them and this time we control the land.. no not just the land.. the water too!,with the Rethials nothing will stand in our way!" Revian smiles and laugh ya... a bit dramatic but he revived me.
"WONDERFUL!... just how are we going to do that!?"
"Ha-ha just despose 'em". Then 3 ghosts appears transparent yet there,one brown,red,and green.
"Not so fast" says the red one
"Y-yes" added the green one
"For a Wind Rethial you always repeat the first letter of your underdeveloped sentence?" the Dark Rethial retorted.
"W-well I.."
"Hay hitting below the belt a bit too early? eh?" said the brown one. Then the Dark Rethial glares at him "Where is the Water Rethial?" Then a white ghost appears "None of your concern!" the Dark Rethial is taken aback from this remark "H-hay!"
"Ha-ha and look who is repeating there words!?" said Revian with one lazy eye and the other wide open.
"Bah" The Dark Rethial expresses. Realy im tired of this im just going to leave if thay keep this up... Revian thinks turning back to the window behind him. "And another thing why did you revive this trouble maker?" the Fire Rethial says If only thay knew thought Revian. "Come i just came to get you guys out." said the Light Rethial.
all three groans "aww"
"Ya and don't come back!" the Dark Rethial yells shaking a ghostly nonexistent fist. Thay probably will if you keep that up. thought Revian rolling his eyes (if you could see them). Then the Fire Rethial flares up heating the office pointing a finger "You almost killed me... thanks to the Life Rethial we were safe!" Revian spins in his chair fast enough to be a tornado "I have a thought... just kill me and begone! This has been a complete waiste of my... life!"
"We would need another Life Rethial." Revian smiles once again and turns back around in his black leather chair. Then thay leave,"Hay Revian I have a plan"
"And what might that be?" He says turning in his chair If i had a beard i would rub it as i thought... Then again that would be ackward with feathers as skin. "The plan is..." he started then wisperd into his ear."
"Would you!?" Revian asks
"Yep!" he awnsers as Revian turns in his chair Yep?... use proper english... and thay say gryphons have good edicate... Just look at the dwarves!... to bad thay just disappeard during the war back then... then again... nah! Revian sees the Dark Rethials reflextion come closer relizing he said nah outloud. "You decline!?"
"No-no!! just thinking a bit outloud about dwarves and our edicate." The Dark Rethial then draws out a long sigh and disappears that was close... he thought.

Meanwhile during that time in the opposite side of earth just south of Blanevill in a cave the Water Rethial appears "WAH!"
"Sorry i scare you Earthy" Earthy? he thinks as he clears his throat
"I thought i told u this place is off limits with you and the others?"
"Sorry but the Rethials are disappearing" Huh?... getting to the point a bit quickly there like always...
"What do u mean?"
"Thay are locked in there temples!"
"What! how?" I have an idea who...
"Might be the work of Revian" as though She read his mind
"This must be put to a end!"
"Right ill start by protecting my side."
"Your at the border of North and South Deloren" change of subject always did calmed her.
"I liked King Deloren." then the Earth Rethial draws out a sigh enough to get her attention
"Well ill be on my way"
"Ya bye." as she disappears the place suddenly went dark "What the?..."
"Your traped inside! Ha-ha enjoy it.. sound and force proof.. FOOL PROOF!"
"You dramatic fool! so this is your doing!? When i get out ill tear you particle by particle"
"You scientific fool! the others are alrdy traped and the Light Rethial is in stone on Mt. Deloren and Revian is taking care... great care of your friend miss Watersport." Stubern fool forgot about magic.. "Enough words... leave!" with enough earth force from the cave to send off a planet pushing the Dark Rethial out. I hope your alright. He thought staring at the blocked cave entrance, then turning to see a orb overlooking Blanevill the elements to us all will die... but there is hope... let me just give this seemingly innosent hero an insight.

Meanwhile in the artic circle, Revian just sealed off the Water Rethial with ice Ha-ha traped in their own element... ironic if you look at it right... "Huh!?" he thinks outloud as the Dark Rethial is flown overhead swearing at the wind dramatic fool... what do i tell you... he invented new swears... he invented THE swears.
"Ya ya Rol'tor to you too!... troll language hah!" the Life Rethial told us about the future... She told us about a rock comming to this super island crushing it with unkowning power emiting from it. I don't know much but... Tar'vot! (swear in gryphon language) is that him floating again? what ever hit him will be going around the planet for quite a while. Now were was I? oh ya! the races will be altered by then too bad tho i would not mind seeing the races back. My father was a fool... guess im talking too much about it but i wish mother was still alive. Anyway I will have to see it for myself before i make any conclusions. I used to know when the races were only pets or so for humens. i evolved in a freak act of nature, guess I should thank the Life Rethial for doing so. We were at such peace but it made a war, and killed them all. Now we are at peace again!, the Life Rethial wasn't even mad even if thay called her "Mother Nature" but she made more with the cost of her life. Ironic, how the Earth will succum to another rock from space. When the Life Rethial died she connected the lands back so we could live in peace without hinder, even if we like it or not. Hmm she spoke of a hero too, I should contact him... but how?

Comments? if your confused on when revian or anyone else thinks its becouse i have it italasized but it dousn't show here but you should get the idea if you guys want i could put * on both ends to signal it a thought but thats just for this and it will be Italasized in the book. (Schedual after i relay ch. 3 is that every saturday ill post the next chapter ok? and this is an edit after verafying)

Ch. 2 Ateren the Small


It is morning in Blanevill and the Earth Rethial just finished sending Ateren(Ate-er-en) a dream of insight of what has happend. He now wakes up in his bed with a yawn enough to unhinge his jaw, Xain (Zang - sounds like fang) black tom cat all over coat sheen that would impress even a Rethial. Ateren then dresses in a green T-shirt with blue slacks, black church shoes, blue eyes, black hair with a featherd look about it. Ateren then speaks out "Hay Xain, ready for your breakfest?" Xain eyes Ateren with a sence of wildness that would surprise even the most quiet cat. "Sure am, but i suggest finishing getting ready for school, its monday you know" Ateren groans "Ever sence we were born u have been like a parent" Xain then turns to Ateren "We were born at the same time even so i do act like a parent almost all the time. Its because I became a guard and teacher by fate, sure its rare but when it happend u are almost considerd feline by our standerds" Ateren rolls his eyes as he walks down the stairs "Ya and i have a tail and lick myself clean." Xain ponders questionly at the remark "Mondays always a bit high off" Ateren reaches the base saying "High off?" then suddenly interupted by Iron (eye-ron) hiding behind the news paper the "Blane Daily" "Hay scamp i'm going to the Everforest south of here with my trusty sword to hunt for dinner... Rabbit or Deer?" he finished putting the news paper down showing a semi wrinkled face a pipe in his mouth, pepper color hair semi balding, scot shirt with golf pants, and brown loafers. "Deer dad" Ateren says awnsering his question. Iron then takes out the pipe and spins it in his fingers he douse that when he thinks observed Ateren Ateren you may be 14 years old but you still need to learn a few things about observation sent Xain and what might that be?
well his raised eye brow means its deep thought and its possitive if not he isn't thinking much to his ability and if narrowed it's going to be negetive
nice, but some species don't have eyebrows.
true but the way the eye line at the top manipulate gives the same hint
next step to mind seeing?
its known as mind reading but you need to eat. Ateren the groans at Xain as he is over to grab some cooked eggs his mom , Mara (Maire-uhh), made for him "It's your favorite!" Mara said coming around the corner "Sure is thanks mom" Ateren said siting down at the table he then starts eating. Xain prowls to his bowl Chicken my favorite!

After breakfest both Ateren, and Xain, get ready. Xain hops into Aterens red backpack with the flap open. As Xain peers over Aterens shoulder he sees Dwayne (Dwaine) by his motor bike. "Hay preppy how's it hangen" Ateren raises an eyebrow slanting to one side "I thought I told u to stop calling me that?" he said with a grin "Ya careful or ill shoot ya with my shotty" he said with a hint of sarcasim. Dwayne has an semi auto shotgun with a tommy gun barrel after the handle and a pump action called the "Devoter" "Walking huh?, well hop on to the side car and lets have a whurl!" Ateren hops into it with a oof!, but not winded. The motor bike reving up was loud, loud enough to scare the neighbor's cat, and the surrounding birds about a half a mile radius.

Thay near the school in a matter of minutes. They walk into the school with there regular first period. The teacher is wearing a full body skirt (sky blue) with apples printed here and there. about in her 40's holding a meter ruler she says "Ok class take out your text books, and turn to page 203." The sound of pages fliping gave a sence of being trapped in some sort of colt. The pages read about math problems on how to find what 2 + 5x=12. After working out the problem i got the awnser x=2, after looking up i see the teacher starting a lesson "Today we will work with higher problems such as 2x+2y=4" she said as she joted down the equation on the board with a taping sound. "And as I simplify i get... Yolie! wake up!" she said without turning behind away from the board. Yolie (yole-e) startles as she wakes up "Y-yes mrs. Crimson" Dwayne then groans in disgust on his right. "Man Preppy she has eyes behind her back!" Mrs. Crimson then shoots a warning look at Dwayne "I suggest you wisper on your own time Dwayne, anymore talking from you and that will be detention" very hard core teacher. Ateren thought ya but thats her job, and it makes it easyer on her to put some disapline Xain thought back.

After a few periods it was P.E. time at the Gym just west of the school. "Physical Ed! i love it" Dwayne said bursting through the Gym doors. "Hay isn't that John and Bex over there?" Ateren pointed out. Dwayne says "Hay ya it is and John is in trouble being against a bully." a big guy with a buzz cut with a blond/brown color to it wearing black jacket, and blue jeans. Next was John held up by his shirt about 5 1" tall regular hair cut a bit like a crue cut wearing a plade T-shirt and blue shorts. He has bony knees but in spite of that he looks smart and always in thought even now. "Please let go of me Bex, I already told you i don't have any lunch money"John said with a hint of plea. "Hay let go of him!" Dwayne said without thinking "What!?" Bex said double taking to Dwayne. "Stay out of this Dwayne" he said with power behind his voice. "I said let go of him!" Dwayne, said taking a step to him. John, reposition his classes to take a clear look at his hero, Dwayne? why him? he can't do a thing unless he has his shotgun... unless then Bex, drops John, with a thump on the wooden floor. Bex, then cracks his knuckles in front of Dwayne, and then with a mighty swing he practicly destroyed his nose blood spattering everywhere. "Dwayne!!" Ateren, yells in surprise then, Xain, hisses at Bex. Then, Xain, ran away to John, as he almost was a pancake between Bex, as he slamed his foot on the wooden floor. Dwayne then groans rolling onto his belly getting up behind Bex, as he stalks after Ateren. Just then Dwayne, smashed Bex with hard stone blocks nearby "Who the?" Bex says looking back to see a black haired bloody nosed black eyed Dwayne three feet away throwing another brick. Then in mid throw coach Lenny, comes around the corner with a clip board. "What the?... Bex! Dwayne! to my office now!" Bex then glares to the coach. Dwayne drops the brick only to fall unconcence, then John takes out a stethascope looking object with cotton at the end "Here put this in his nose. It will stop the bleeding and expand his nose." Dwayne now looks like a beaten up bull with a nose ring. "Coach Lenny Dwayne is hurt bad" said Ateren "Just take him to the clinic." Coach said with a wave of his hand without turning. Ateren then grunts at Coach Lenny. "Thank you all for helping me." John said pushing his glasses back up to eye level. "No problem" said Xain hopping back into the back pack "I have many inventions to help out Dwayne, no need for any low grade clinic." John said fixing his collar. I thought he had a plan... and i knew witch one was effective, but he got beaten up to fast, unlike my quick thinking... "Say mind if i tag along? you will need someone smart and good with machanics." says John feeling proud at himself even tho there is nothing proud to be for but the invention sticking out of Dwayne's nose. Ateren nods, but Xain gives a proper "Thank you" by licking him on the cheek.

After school everyone bids them farewell to travel back to their homes. Ateren was walking home when John comes runnen up to him almost knocking him over.
"Oh sorry" said John pushing his glasses eye level
"No problem.. what is it?"
"Here its a walkie talkie set were we can talk anywere"
"Sweet" said Ateren taking the small handheld black speaker.
"When u need help call me on that ..." Then a yell came from behind Ateren
"Oh thats mom calling me... have to go." He said with a finger shifting toward his home.
"Alright Ateren, but be careful, I hear that wolves are marking their scents closer, and closer to the Blanevill"
"Okay bye then John see you at school tomarrow" Then thay seperate with a meow from Xain That was nice of him, I guess we could use is vast knoledge, he was smart, maby a bit of a know-it-all at heart. "Ya well he could help us out alot when in trouble."
Ateren figured this out as well , knowing that would be helpful.
"Xain"
"Yes?"
"N-Never mind" he thought if Xain had a mother and father , trying his best not to think this too audible for Xain. Something strange is happening tho for a moment he thought he heard something speak to him. The wind nearby is holding words , yet he can not make them out. The smell of fire quickly clouded his smell. Again words are heard yet not understood. The feeling of cool swift water , as if he was diving came into play , then more words this time more audible , but only understood some of it , it said "Beware" this granted me a chil worthy of concern to a snowman. Then he felt a rumble of earth beneath him much more clear then the last three, it said "Go south"
I did not know what this ment. But before more feelings took over, he found himself infront of his house "We are here!" Xain called out. Half concern and half confused he entered his house. All of this just now happend, Dwayne stood up for someone, John helped heal Dwayne and handed me a communicater, but i didn't realy did much, I felt small at the time.



Ch. 3 School Time Madness!

It's Friday, and we just greated our friend , Galdon (Gal-don) the school cleanup guy with a hearty hello.Galdon is standing in the gym wearing red overalls leaning on a mop next to a mop bucket. Galdon has always been afraid of wolves ever sence he was almost killed by some when they first nested in the forest outside of Blanevil. Galdon nods and says "The wolves are up to somthing in the past week i know it!" John is standing next to Dwayne, and Ateren, in the Gym as its P.E. "Don't Threat Galdon they will never cross into town." said John reassuring Galdon
"Thats what you think" Galdon says ignoring John's soft tones
"Well if not ill just shoot them" said Dwayne holding out his hands like he is holding his shotgun Devoter
"Oh come off it Dwayne... more then likly you will have to wait 10 years before they grow in numbers enough to bother even a child." Ateren said retorting
"Maby sooner then that im afraid" Xain said with a pang of fear.
"Ya its around 2 years for a child... and a cat is lunch by then.." John said catching Ateren's dramatisation.
"Well you lads be careful when you do go out there." Galdon said as he sweeped up some dust from the floor.
"We will if we do." said Ateren noding
"You mean when we do" said Dwayne giving Ateren a teasing glare.
Ateren then nods "Its a good posibility in our lifetime."
"No as in wolf hunting!"Dwayne said with a pat on his back
"What? thats crazy!" Ateren exlaimed.
"If you do im comming" Said John
"Well if your doing that then I might as well help you out with supplies... would like to see a few dead wolves here and there."
"Cool" Dwayne said.
Galdon then leaves them to themselves, then Ateren, Dwayne, And John went to 8th period.
"Sweet one more period till we are out of here!" Said Dwayne looking back
"Well don't get too ecited Dwayne" Said John.
"Ya or we will chase you down" Ateren teased.
"Haha... very funny!" retorted Dwayne.


"Where is my motorbike!" said Dwayne looking franticly.
"Over there!" Ateren pointed.
"Nice bike... ill belive ill take it" Said Bex riding off
"No fair..." Dwayne said stomping his foot on the ground. We better not give chase Ateren... we can walk leave it to Dwayne. Thought Xain But he needs our help... and Dwayne has a Shotgun! Thought Ateren.
"Come lets follow!" Dwayne said starting off. They then run after the burnt rubber tire tracks leading over the grass to a house of the side.
"There! my bike!" Dwayne said going over.
"Should'nt we get you shotgun Dwayne?" Ateren said with a questioning look.
"Later while he is not here." Said Dwayne.
"Here." John said pushing out of his way. He then takes a small pin lazer and cut the chains on the motorbike with a snap!
"There lets..." John said but was nocked aside as Bex came running
"Oh no you don't!" Said Bex blocking it "Finnly a chance for revenge after that scramble." Bex said pointing a meaty finger to Dwayne. "Well catch us! come on into the car!" Dwayne said jumping shotgun in the driver's seat. "Stop!" Bex said giving chase. "I'll Hot wire it.... there!" John said with a shock of his Octotool. "It can fix and reprogram anything." John said Hotly "Ok but it can't fix fights now step on it Dwayne!" Ateren said looking back as he sees Bex Jumping on his bike
"Oh its on!" Dwayne said revving the car and running loose onto the road.

"Quick he is gaining on us!" Said John looking back. Bex is on the tail as they run across the middle of the Football field behind the school. "This convertable car can't go over 80mph now thats sad" Said Dwayne tapping the mph guage. "God... eyes on the road!" Said Ateren pointing ahead as they slam into the wooden outergate. "Thats off your funds Dwayne" retorted Ateren. "Ya and gives Bex close to us!" John said.
"Dwayne over there!"
"Where Ateren I can't see?"
"Over there near the church its a cop! slow it down!"
"Oh... there!..." Dwayne said slamming the breaks. They swerve around as Bex continues and crashes near the church into the cop car. "I bet Bex won't get out of that soon" Said Dwayne with a smerk on his face. Phew... lets go home Ateren Xain meows "Alright Xain is hungry lets go!" Ateren said relaying the messege partly. They all then go home droping John off and Ateren as Dwayne drove off to who knows what. No more wild chases for this cat... im going to eat somthing then take a nap. "Heh suit yourself!" Ateren said rubbing Xain's head as he purred. "So how was school?" said Mara comming into the kitchen. "It was fine... im going upstairs if you don't mind."
"Oh I don't mind"
"Ok mom love you"
"Love you too!" said Mara as Ateren walked up stairs and Xain went to his filled food bowl.

A wierd voice... somewhat familiar talks to Ateren "Your adventure starts here young one."
"Huh what do you mean?" Ateren said with curiosity.
"You will find out soon enough"
"What will I be looking out for?
"Me and many more will come to your dreams and fill your head with vast information and warning... Look for big packs, and the smell of fire!"
"Packs and fire... got it!"
"But remember one thing Ateren"
"How do you know my name!?"
"Explain to me why im able to talk to you?"
"...Good point." Silence then fills his mind
"I will say this... Your life is not like most others"
"Metephors... just what I need... confusion just like the fiction books I read!"
"Ahh but this is Nonfiction to you."
"True"
"Now enter a deep sleep and let the madness of the world slip away for a short time"
"Ya.. I need it..." Ateren then falls asleep thinking about car racing and soaring into a ablivion.

Ch. 4 Burning Expectations

A large ringing sound in Aterens room "Huh... thats not our phone... wait... the communicator!" Said Ateren picking up the small walkie talkie. Xain wakes up with a yawn, then hops down stairs. "So what is it Dwayne?"
"We are going Wolf hunting today! I got my shotgun... why don't you ask your father for a weapon?"
"Ooo I'll be right over" Ateren says droping the Communicator. Ateren then runs down to his father Iron and asks "I'm going out over to Dwaynes house... I need some kind of weapon."
"What on earth are you going to be doing?"
"Killing wolves"
"... Son I have something that used to be my fathers... Its a sword... ancient at that."
"Realy?"
"Realy!" thinks Xain
"Yes realy... Here let me show you." Ateren follows Iron into his bedroom closet. Iron pulls out a large case, He opens the case pulling out a large one hand sword sharp and curves slightly at one end and the other spikes curving up. The sword is 4inches long with a hand and a half handle... the Sword is light blue all around with a red handle.
"This son is Ral'kor"(Ral-core)
"Wow."
"Made by each race to get an hand on it, improving it until we got it, and now its yours."
"I'm... speachless" Ateren takes the sword
"Here is the swords casing..." Pulls out a leather casing, Ateren then puts it on his back and sheaths the sword.
"Take care my son" Iron said patting his shoulder "And makes those wolves scared haha"
"And take care of your iron stomic Ateren" Said Mara teasing as she went by.

Ateren eats his breakfest and leaves for Dwaynes house. "Oh my what a weapon! I think thats the cousin of my Shotgun... Douse it have a name?" Ateren Unsheaths the blade and says "Yes indeed it douse, Its name is Ral'kor" Dwayne looks over in awe "Those wolves will be sorry, anyways lets take Bex's car back to his house after we pick up John, His house is near the edge anyway." Ateren nods as they get in the car "Isn't it all in the Karon woods?" Asked Ateren. Dwayne nods saying "Sure is now lets go!" They drove off meeting John "Took you guys long enough" said John with a smirk. They then drop off the car entering Karon woods.

Karon woods (care-en) North, "Now where are those wolves?" Said Dwayne looking to and fro. "I still don't see why wolves are being such a threat?" Ateren said unsheathing his sword. "Darn if only I brought my locator... map and everything!" John said kicking the dirt. "Well why didn't you do that when you were waiting for us?" Dwayne teased. "Oh shut up" John said with the wave of his hand walking forward.
"Hay you hear that?" Ateren said walking backwards. "Ya it sounds like russling of leaves" Dwayne said. "It could easily be rabbits." Ateren said. John wags a finger "Oh no wolves eat rabbits easy just like foxes... and besides with all the activity of the wolves i dought there is any left." Dwayne raises an eyebrow with John "Then what is making the quiet noises?" Ateren jumps back "Douse that awnser your question?!" Pairs of red eyes start apearing left and right. "They are posesed!!" John said running west. "Wait up" Said Ateren cutting the side of a wolf letting out a whail as it launches toward him. A shotgun blast fires "They aren't scared... lets run to the school!" said Dwayne running after them.

They reach the school and the whole place is surrounded by wolves "W-w-w-wolves man I told you I told you!" Galdon said baracading the closed door with school desks. "Get a grip Galdon." said John looking out the window. "This is insane, I thought you said it would be years, John!" said Dwayne shooting off a wolf from the window side. "Hmm how are we going to get past?" said Ateren sheathing his sword then siting upside the wall. "Ya I.... Ateren? Ateren!" said Galdon running to Ateren falling over. Everything is now dark to the point of no visibility yet Ateren see's a lone wolf sitting on the floor beside him. "What is this?" Said Ateren looking for his sword finding none. "Your journy starts here young one." Said the wolf disapearing. Ateren is then facing up to see his three friends. "Gave us quite a scare you did" said Galdon helping Ateren up. Ateren the pats off the dust off his blue jeans. "Hay the wolves are leaving!" exlaimed John. "Good riddence" Said Galdon walking back to the other end of the school. "They finnly gave up, well bye Galdon"
"Cya Dwayne"
"Hay you smell that, John?"
"Ya I do Ateren... Smoke!"
"Its Motor engine smoke..." Said Dwayne looking over the window "And my motorbike engine at that." Ateren looks where its comming from "Its comming from the church!" Dwayne looks bewilderd "What no way, oh thats right we left it there." John moves the furniture "Lets go!"

They reach the church to see it burning, the west wall then crumbles. "Whats going on here?" says Ateren then sees a crying girl "Wait thats Miana (Me-on-uh) the daughter of our elder, Jakon (Jake-on)" said John comming up to Miana "My dad is in there..." said Miana through her tears. "Don't worry my ladie ill get him" Said Dwayne running into the church. "Oh, Dwayne!..." Ateren said running after him. Inside the church ambers are falling everywhere. They then see the elder walking toward them. "Lets help him" Ateren said helping Jakon. They then walk out of the falling building just now completely falling down into ashes. "Miana, come I got somthing i need to tell you" Said Jakon
"Yes what is it?"
"I have to leave you now, I hoped it wasn't so soon but you have a calling, with your magic abilities you have to help Ateren on his quest, he dousn't know this yet but I have no choice sence I have inhaled to much smoke and dust."
"No!, please don't die!" Miana said inbetween her tears. "Ateren you must leave here soon to help all the Rethials, they are spirits that will stop the oncomming evil" finished Jakon. "That explains the inaudible sounds i heard on my way home last week, but why me?" Jakon then replies to Ateren "You are the only one able to wield the Ral'kor!"
"But."
"Ateren in order to release the Rethial you need magic and a strike with that sword. Miana can provide the magic for you... Take good care... of Miana for me Ateren... hopefuly you will not... leave me unavinged" Jakon then lays back dead. "Crap!" Dwayne said kicking up ashes and dirt "If only my motorbike didn't couse this."
"Its alright Dwayne you didn't mean to" said Miana. Ateren then says "I have to clear my head. If im not back in a day then come after me" Then gasps around the town start to arouse "Look the sky!" said a man. The sky turned green making things large and humid, The trees around start wilting. "The Earth Rethial is in trouble and the elements are failing as we speak." said Miana "Ateren clear your head south of here, south Karon forest is where the temple of Earth is, Go!" Ateren nods and heads south out of the city. He then walks into the forest as it swallows him up, trees wilting after him.

Comments?

This is what i made so far... by each saturday i will have atleast the next chapter, but I would also like to see some comments, even a simple its nice helps, your not going to get the story in stores or in your library for a while, I will only post book one (witch ends when I go inside Mt. Deloren) I introduce alot of characters and new and old races so it will get even more interesting, but comments would be very nice, and that includes telling me what spelling needs helped, or if its the wrong content, Feedback is very helpful, now im not saying you have to but it would be nice. and have fun reading my story.

I'm thinking of leaving the rest of book one a secret to you all as i finish it and book's 2 and 3. Although those of you that actualy wanna see what happens to Ateren in this wilting forest or the rest of my story of book 1 then please say somthing otherwise im going to take my sweet time. (everyones awnsers are due april 18 )

way past deadline... *comming soon to a viewer near you!!* CHAPTER 5 WEEE!!!.... Those who wanna see chapter 7 say I!! And here is a hint.. somthing bad happens to Blanevil!! OO!! no rly i premade some of Ch.7-8 so i would like someone to post SOMTHING about my story plz? mean while ill be reviving the RPG

And now.

Ch. 5 Revian

Revian sits on his leather chair facing the window, lightning falshes a couple of times. Revian then turns in his seat looking at the Picture of his Mom and brother. A yellow Canary, and a Blue jay, is smiling toward him, Revian then closes his eyes and nods off to sleep.

120 years ago, A voice sounds from a house made out of logs, inside two blue jays a Canary, and a adult blue jay stands in the house. Revian is no longer a black bird, but is a blue jay, his eyes isn't red lights but Hazel eyes like is mother, Near Revian is his brother, Norcan (Nor-can), He has icy blue eyes like his father. The canary, Juli (Joo-lee) and the blue jay, Bocan (Bow-can). Revian looks at his father, "Father, you needed me?" Bocan looks at Revian, then smiles "Why yes I did, follow me!" Revian then follows Bocan outside. "Now Revian, I'm going to have to leave for a while." Revian looks shocked at Bocan. "But why?" Bocan shakes his head "Because, I have a date with destiney." Revian tugs at Bocans red robes. "May I come with you?" Bocan shakes his head once more "No son, I must go alone" Revian looks down at his talons and walks in, then gets a good look at the surroundings, at his surroundings without his father. Regular kitchen ware is stacked up clean, Juli, and Norcan, sit side by side with a camara. Norcan turns "Oh? hay Revian take a picture of us!" Revian nods "Okay!", the picture goes off with a snap, Norcan takes the Photo "Nice, ok your turn!" Revian nods and embraces his Mother, the picture goes off again with another snap.

Present today in the forest. Ateren scolds the nearby tree "Why... must... I... be... the... one!" Ateren takes a deep breath. Then as he walks further down the road he spots a few deer crossing the road. "At least the prey is still here." He then runs into a rock formation, Ateren sees scorch markings on the closed entrance "Hmm" he thinks outloud while he trys to push. "Ah... no good! It won't budge!" then a deep voice enters his head "Fear not... I am the Earth Rethial, ah, Ateren." Ateren nods "Who did this to you!?" he says steping foward blindly with a fist raised half way in the air close to his body.
"Ah it would be the Dark Rethial and his Cohart, Revian"
"Hmm, Miana might be able to know how to release you."
"Alas she douse!, but do not blame Revian for his past is the reason for his trecheroy!"
"Explain?"
"Very well I will tell you, no... I will show you!

115 years ago. Bocan raises a sword that very much looks like Ateren's. "Vile thing! die!" with a vital blow a dark transperent figure dies. "Finnly! the Dark Rethial is vanquished!... Oh!" Bocan heart beats audibly. First slow then fast then Bocan falls over spiting out blood in the nearby room in the Castle where Revian is today. *Ateren, you do know that Bocan ever sence that day, became the new Dark Rethial? Ateren grows silent in shock. Wait there is more.. about 20 years later.*
"Son... I'm Bocan, I became the Dark Rethial after I killed him"
"No!... no!... no-o-o-o!" *Now 5 years after that, they meet again.*
"Son, go kill Juli."
"But why!?"
"If you want to help out your father you must do it!" Revian grows silent, "Alright i will..." *Revian went to pick up Bocan's sword witch you wield.*"Revian what are you doing!, No! stop!" Juli falls with a thud as Revian drowns her in his tears, he takes the second picture of Revian and Juli, then rips it up into 6 pieces and throws it into the wind. *Little did he know, Norcan was watching, ever sence then, he always hated him.*
"Father the deed is done." said Revian giving a half bow. "Good, now you shall die!"
"W-what!" Revian's heart stops and falls in the nearby grass. *His heart burst with just one move, only done if you kill someone of your family, the Dark Rethial has abilitys to such feats. The sword he held was picked up by the Life Rethial, and used it to make a new race, the Dark Rethial then controlled Revian's image and made a terror, and to this day Revian works as a innocent slave, and the sword past down.*

Ateren gasps as he regains original sight. "Now you know most of Revians past." Ateren ponders "Most?"
"Ah yes, there is one more enemy you should know, but later once you go further." Ateren nods. "There is a cottage nearby take heed there, and I shall protect you as best as I can as you wait for your friends" Ateren enters the cottage to see it resemble the house of Revian, but diffrent inside. Its totaly empty but for a fireplace, and some wooden chairs. "I guess I should get some rest." He goes to a nearby bed and lays his head on the pillow, then drifts off to sleep.

I'm moving and im probably won't be on for a couple of days so I will finish Ch. 5 on later terms.

after some stuff with grammer issues and what not i'm reduing my whole story (same story line) but I felt I ruined the story by writing some of the climax WAY to early, i'm reduing Revian's past part that way i'm not repeating myself. I went ahead and made a ruff draft and so i'll be posting ch. 1 soon.

Part 1!

Ch. 1 A boy's nightmare

North rests a castle that hold’s a story. This story hasn’t been told to a single soul. No one knows about it, but the Rethials has seemed to take a liking to this particular phenomenon. Today that same story lives! What’s stranger is that a boy, on the other side of the Earth, is dreaming this exact phenomenon.

Inside the castle is a long red carpet leading up to a cherry wood desk. On the desk is some knickknacks, a picture of a black raven, a blue bird, and a yellow canary. Around the room is brick walls eroded to the point of breakdown. A leather chair facing a 4x4 yard window with flashes of lightning scattering across the sky fills the room with light. In that same leather chair sits a figure; this figure is an older version of the raven in the picture. The raven wears a red robe around his body, his eyes replaced with red lights, talons for feet, sits contently watching the storm rage on. His feathered hands reach to the back of his head, smoothing out the overlapping feathers.

The figure then rings out in a deep intimidating voice. “Its days like these that raise the question… why?” He spins in his chair and pounds the desk with his feathered hands. A black transparent figure then walks into the ghastly room. A deeper voice is then heard. “Question why? Dear boy you know why! In fact you lived why!” the raven figure then pounds the table and retorts. “You’re the Dark Rethial you should know that that was totally rhetorical!” The Dark Rethial then smirks at the one talking to him “Revian, Revian, Revian, must you be so quick to wrath?” Revian contemplates as he leans back in his chair. “What else can I do? The storm is the only thing keeping me company!” the Rethial then frowns. “I’m no longer considered company? What have I been the last 400 years!?” Revian sees he’s treading on thin ice. “Now, now don’t be like that. You rarely visit, I think of this as an occasion.” The Rethial then folds his arms. “Your right, as occasions go, we have business to attend to!” Revian then thinks to himself. Very predictable, I feel like we are still in the middle ages. Revian then rolls his eyes at the thought

(So what do you guys think of it improved?)