How DisappointedWiiOwner Stole Forumas
Based on: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
by Dr. Suess
[As a small note of refrence, Forumas is a Forum Christmas Holiday that is parallel to Christmas. If this word bothers you then please ignore it and appreciate the literature. oh and Forumas Forumas Forumas Forumas Forumas Forumas Forumas Forumas Forumas.]
On the Fan Forums
Liked Forumas a lot...
Who just Joined the Forums,
DWO hated Forumas! The whole Forumas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that his spam awareness meter was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason,
His shoes or his head,
He stood there on Forumas Eve, hating every thread,
Staring down from his profile with a sour, Disappointed loom
At the happy face posts below in the chatroom.
For he knew every Member down on the forums beneath
Was busy now, uploading an avatar wreath.
"And they're posting their topics!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Forumas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his DWO fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Forumas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the free spirited members and all the stiffs
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush to their gifts!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Members, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start with tuna helper, and rare roast beast
Which was something DWO couldn't stand in the least!
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Member down on the forums, the tall and the small,
Would gather up together, with Skype calls ringing.
They'd start up a carol. And the Members would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more DisappointedWiiOwner thought of the Skype Caroling Sing
The more DisappointedWiiOwner thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for fifty-three days I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Forumas from coming!
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" DisappointedWiiOwner said with a wamble.
And he made a quick Mario hat and plumber ensemble.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "Man, I am such a hater!
"With this Mario ensemble, I'll look just like the Creator!"
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he raised his spamming axe.
Then DWO said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh rushed forward like a lion
Toward the forums where
The Members lay idle in their zion.
All the users were offline. Every Forum was bare.
All the Members were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he got to General Chat, he gave it a glare.
"This is stop number one," DisappointedWiiOwner hissed
And he climbed to the top, empty bags in his fist.
As he readied to post things started to get slow.
But if Richie could do it, then so could DWO.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he didn’t jump onto the forums, he flew.
He spotted the Members stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole forum, and he took every present!
Name Changes! And Avatars! Signatures! Polls!
Announcements! Cast Posts! Contests! And goals!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then with a smile on his face,
Shuffled all the bags, one by one, out of their place!
Then he slunk to the vault. He took the Members' feast!
He took the chocolate ramen! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that vault as quick as a flash.
Why, DisappointedWiiOwner even took their portrait of Ash!
Then he shuffled all the food out of the forum with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned DWO, "I will move the tree!"
And then DWO grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a Member!
Little ChrisMullerFan who’s been posting since anyone could remember.
DWO’s masterplan had just been toasted.
By CMF who'd checked in to see if Chris had posted.
She stared at DWO and said after a pause,
"What the FLLL are you doing with our tree, Richie Claus?"
But, you know, that old DWO was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little fan," the fake Richie Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my house, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the Member but she wanted to come too
So he knocked her out with his Smoke Bomb Mach 2.
And when all the smoke had cleared for him to see,
HE happily deleted the shiny Forumas Tree!
Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went to the index himself, the old spammer.
On their forum he left nothing but empty space, and the banner.
And the one last thing
The he left in the thread
Was a post so meaningless by a member not well read.
He did the same thing
To all the other sections
Much too meaningless
By members without directions!
It was quarter past dawn...
All the Members, still a-bed
All the Members, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The signatures! The awards!
The pics! And the contests! The stickies! Everything from the boards!
Three thousand feet deep! Down to the Core of the Rift,
He rode down to dump every gift!
"Pooh-pooh to the Members!" he was Disappointedly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Forumas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Members down on the Forums will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned DisappointedWiiOwner,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And DWO put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared up at the Forums!
DisappointedWiiOwner popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Member down on the Forums, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Forumas from coming!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And then DWO, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without PMs, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled for hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then DWO thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Forumas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Forumas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well...on the Forums they say
That DWO's spam awareness meter
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his meter didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the gifts! And the food for the feast!
DisappointedWiiOwner carved the roast beast!
This Christmas Story is based loosly on overexagerated prequel events that have taken place to the current point in time on the forums. all refrenced members should not take offense to this or any Forumas stories becuase they are fiction and are not meant to insult any members. Don't do drugs... or spam. Have a nice day.